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19 May 2007 @ 02:44 pm
God is a million miles away  
Things here are about the same. The PT instructors ride me harder and harder every day. I love it (not). I am slowly improving in firearms. I have a cut on my thumb from my grip. I was in the middle of shooting and my instuctor told me to hoster up. I thought I did something wrong. Then he asked "can you shoot with that?" I said with what sir? He said "look at your hand". I was bleeding. I hadn't even noticed. He said "good, that means your concentrating". I'm doing fine in my classes. They are boring as hell, but if I studied this hard at Rutgers I could've pulled a 4.0 easy. 

I cried for the first time since I've been here, on Thursday. I called my dad and just cried. I feel like a schmuck. This is the first time I've been homesick since I've been here, and I can't manage to shake the feeling. Part of my wants to fly home on Memorial Day weekend, but part of me doesn't. It'll be harder to come back here if I do. I feel so isolated here, and I hate missing my family. It sucks. 12 more weeks. I just wish I had someone to hold me at night and make me feel better. But I haven't had that in years and I am not anticipating having it any time soon. 

I have tons of work to do, and I need to attempt to get my voice back. I somehow lost it around 1AM, and it is barely back. *sigh*
 
 
Current Location: artesia, NM
Current Mood: pensivepensive